A few leftover tidbits from the 2000 Truth files, before we toss the trash and switch on the shredder.

Flip: Kudos to Denny’s, which transformed its image from one of racial discrimination to one of diversity, including being named by Fortune as the country’s sixth-best place to work in 1999. Partial credit was given to the chain’s use of promotion, which included leveraging a sponsorship of Save the Children as a platform for employees and customers to become more involved with community programs.

Flops: Radisson’s offer was “Stay a night in Los Angeles, one in Chicago, and another in New York City, show your Gold Rewards card, and you’ve earned your free weekend bonus.” How about a home-cooked meal instead?

Sprint offerd NWAir points for signing up. Does anyone actually want to fly NWAir?

American Hotel & Motel Association offered a “Good Earthkeeping” event, packaged as a conservation cause. Translation: Guests can elect to use dirty towels.

Ideaplanet’s State Quarters Map kit offered a “Bonus” of five quarters. To get the $1.25, purchasers had to shell out an additional $4.32 P&H.

What’s with Butts? Trend watchers noted that on the heels of the Bass Ale Laff your Bass Off event was the 7-Up Show Us Your Can promotion, supported by advertising featuring lard-bottomed consumers who purportedly entered proud pix of their posteriors.

Butts Sluts: Winston got off with racy matchbook giveaways like the one[s] depicted here. It’s what you might expect from a brand whose primary image ad campaign is built on the diminutive for bovine poop (“No Bull”).

Eye Sorry: The Laser Sculpting Center of Detroit offered a “20/20 Promise.” If you have Lasik surgery on your eyes and it doesn’t work, you get your money back. Guaranteed confidence builder, eh?

Heart Warning: Promising “24-hour complete heartburn relief,” Prilosec may have offered the first consumer purchase incentive in the burgeoning prescription drug marketing game. A $10 mail-in rebate card was tipped onto a Sunday supplement ad – right beneath the warning of headache, diarrhea, and abdominal pain side effects. Get relief and spend the ten-spot, quick.

Doughboy Dough: The U.S. Army resorted to promotion after missing enlistment quotas for three straight years. Volunteers get a $20,000 signing bonus and up to $50,000 later for school or even a job provided by promotion partners such as Pepsi. Now if they would only relax the dress code.

Funny Money: Notwithstanding laudatory feature stories and accolades as “Best Promoted,” the Sacagawea Golden Dollar is on a slide to oblivion. At mid-year, more than 50 percent of Americans still had never seen one! Moral: Promotion can’t resurrect bad design. Memo to the Mint: It’s too light, it’s too small, and it ain’t gold.

Doggy Demise: The Taco Bell Chihuahua was chopped. The pets.com sock puppet was abandoned. What icon falls next, the Energizer Bunny? Yup.

Cat-tastrophe: Enter :CueCat, a mouse-like device that readers can use to scan bar codes in ads and be delivered directly to the advertiser’s Web site without having to type in those pesky URLs. An actual unit was mailed to millions of readers of partnering magazines (apparently without de-duping the lists, because several readers reported getting more than one). Beyond the faulty premise that anybody would want even one of such a thing, and despite the fact that it doesn’t work very well, promotion marketers will recognize a bigger issue – if your cat is a dog, sampling is the fastest path to its death.

Cattle Battles: The Chicago Cows concept really caught fire. Herds of creative quadrupeds rounded up in places like Cincinnati (400 pigs), Toronto (250 moose), even St. Paul (50 Snoopy dogs). In New York City, though, the movement was detained: 500 Swiss-made cows were quarantined by legal beagles, who claimed that they were poorly made, unstable and, catch this, prone to catch fire.

Dubya all the Way: Why did we waste taxpayer money on recounts and court battles, when the answer was already in front of us? 7-Eleven reported the winner in September following a coffee promotion that offered customers a choice of cups designated with either “I’m voting for Bush” or “I’m voting for Gore.” Bush supporters grabbed 21 percent, Gore 20 percent. Case closed.

That’s that for The Truth. May you never have to deal with dimpled chads.

A few tidbits of truth from the 1999 scrap heap – before we jump-start the shredder and begin a new millennium.

FURLESS FREEBIES. McDonald’s redefined the notion of downsizing with its McFurby promotion. By eliminating quintessential elements, like fur and speaking, the burger boys afforded the giveaway of 100 million Furby wannabes.

WHILE SUPPLIES LAST. If they do. Burger King majorly misforecast the appeal of its hot hot hot Pokemon promotion. In an unprecedented open letter published in USA Today, the president of BK actually found it necessary to apologize to America’s parents. His promise? To resupply toys “for as long as supplies last.” Come again?

DONE DEAL. Dr. McGillicuddy’s Schnapps ran a contest for municipalities willing to change their name to McGillicuddy City. The winner: Granville, North Dakota, population 270. A reported sales bump from this effort likely traces to the fact that both of the town’s bar owners now feature the brand.

DUMB DIAL. Despite having the correct spelling in front of them, eight percent of respondents to Monopoly’s Vote for Your Favorite Token promotion dialed (800) 81TOCKEN. That connected them to a Colleen Klein in Montana. Don’t even think about it: Ms. Klein has a new number.

FREE RIDE. In a brilliant move, AOL partnered with Sony Music to burn its typical “100 Free Hours” bonus offer onto top-selling audio CDs sold at music retailers. In so doing, it found a new audience while reducing its notoriously high cost of CD duplication.

FREE SCISSORS. Consumers who paid $19.95 for a pair of new Fiskar’s Loppers discovered, only after they opened the package, that the tiny peel-off sticker actually contained an offer for a $24.95 Better Homes Complete Guide to Gardening on CD-ROM – absolutely free.

BIG LITTLE IDEA. Domino’s drivers inserted an inexpensive one-color flyer into local mailboxes declaring that “Your street has been named Street of the Week” and offering 50% off pizzas. Think about it: Controlled distribution of media, efficient use of driver time, and trial-generation by high-propensity prospects.

BELITTLING IDEA. Brassiere marketer Personal Beauty Unlimited announced a search for “the world’s biggest breasts.” The winner will receive a – ta-ta-da – lifetime supply of brassieres! It’s true. Check it out at www.biggestbra.com.

SHORT-SIGHTED. American Airlines sells private membership information to other marketers, permitting them to make sleazy “hidden agenda” offers like “5,000 Bonus Miles!” (if you switch to MCI) or “Free Companion Ticket” (if you sign for a Citibank card). It’s a practice tantamount to self-destructive branding. Now that Congress has passed legislation prohibiting deceptive sweepstakes practices, let’s hope these kinds of tactics are next – before practitioners commit brand suicide.

SHORT MEMORIES. Following its 1999 ethics scandal, the Olympic Committee fretted that the fallout would be sponsors reluctant to associate with purported shady behavior. The nail-biting is over. Gateway Computer just picked up a bargain sponsorship of the 2002 Winter Games for $20 million, and the committee expects a flood of marketing bucks.

OVER & UNDER. Hammacher Schlemmer overlayed promotion atop whimsy to get reader involvement in its holiday catalog. The front cover featured a must-have “authentic rickshaw” priced at $7,500. As added value, shoppers were offered a whopping 150 bonus air miles. Didn’t you just want to dash to your phone?

OVERBOOKED. Sure sex sells, but who could have predicted a sell-out? Victoria’s Secret’s Valentine’s Day Fashion Show was just that. Problems began when viewers of the event’s Super Bowl advertising found they could not access the promotional Web site. Of those who did, some saw fuzzy images or found their computers crashing. Imagine that! A million and a half action-starved male football viewers actually bothered to log on to a site featuring nothing but near nakedness? Go on!