Save Me From Zero

You know how you get a song stuck in your head, and you can’t delete it, no matter how hard you try? And it’s never a good song. It’s always something annoying, like Uptown Girl, or Jingle Bell Rock. Or something by Cindy Lauper. That happens a lot.

But lately, because I watch a lot of sports on TV, I am tortured by the simple, three-word jingle that I hear at least 5 times every night, and more on Sunday: Saved by Zero. (See? There it is, banging around your head right now.)

At first I didn’t even understand what the words meant, exactly, and didn’t really bother to look up to see what product (Toyota) the song was attached to. Over time, though, and after hundreds of airings, it has leaked into my conciousness. Like radiation. Or heat rash.

I can’t get rid of it. And all the time I thought I was the only one haunted by this ever-present 4-note attack, until yesterday when the afternoon drive-time sports show in Chicago announced their choices for what they call “dog food songs.” Songs that are annoying, yet catchy, and get under your skin. They listed stuff by the Carpenters, The Guess Who and Grand Funk Railroad. But #1 on their list was “Saved by Zero!” They’re stuck with it too! And so is ESPN’s Bill Simmons! He wrote that he’s gonna buy one of the cars just to drive it thru the dealership window screaming the song at the top of his lungs. And the NY Times named it “Most Annoying Commercial Ever.”

And yet it continues. I just heard it again, while writing this, taunting me from the TV in the other room. If this continues we’re gonna have to start up a support group. We’ll call ourselves the “James Blunts.”