Comedian Albert Owens used to say that most people have ESP — exaggerated self-praise. I recalled this comment recently when a plain white envelope, bearing live postage but no return address, showed up in my home mailbox. Not only were there no identifying characteristics on the outer envelope, but the bar code at the bottom had been hand-obliterated by a heavy black magic marker.
Now, this was right after I had published an innocuous column on God’s preferred marketing channel [Loose Cannon: God’s Chosen Channel, Direct Newsline, Jan. 25, 2005]. Was this a reaction from someone less than thrilled with it? The thought certainly crossed my mind. What the heck, I’ve got enough ESP to believe myself worthy of the occasional threatening letter, even if I simultaneously hope never to receive one.
The anthrax scare that paralyzed the direct mail industry a few years ago popped into my head. But with a mixture of braggadocio and foolishness — and rationalizing that a) I would only be putting myself at risk and b) the envelope was not greasy, lumpy, or discolored and c) weapons-grade anthrax is probably beyond the reach of most DMers to manufacture — I opened it.
And saw one of those “I thought you would like this” stick-on notes attached to an advertisement for a “become a better public speaker” seminar.
Folks, three weeks ago I wrote about catalogers sending their offerings to “ship to” addresses, which in some cases might mean sending personal mailings to a business address. I tried to represent both sides of the issue in that column: Mailers wouldn’t do it if it weren’t profitable, but customer comfort should count for something. I neither advocated nor denigrated the tactic, instead asking readers to weigh in on it.
I don’t have the same hesitation about condemning this device. My initial reaction to this mailing was rage. I’ve never had that strong a reaction to a direct mail piece before, even when I’ve received one from a political party I don’t support. The anonymous outer envelope’s era has passed. It is time to remove this particular device from a direct mailer’s arsenal.
To respond to the opinions in this column, please contact e-mail: [email protected] Mailed letters will be returned in hermetically sealed containers.
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