The Perils of Premeditated Demotion

Our community has been accused of various offenses, from planned obsolesence to subliminal advertising. Here’s one we actually are guilty of: premeditated demotion.

PD is the act of designing promotions in a manner that discourages consumer participation. It takes many forms: tiny unreadable type sizes; cramped unfillable entry blanks; tear-off offers with no redeeming value; and borrowed interest from dull partners.

Premeditated means you did it on purpose. De-motion means it’s damaging to your brand, as opposed to pro-motion which should be brand-building.

Why does PD happen? Sadly, we fear it’s because marketers don’t get caught doing it. The PEA (promotion effectiveness analysis) is passed upward, of course. It reports accountability for CPR (cost per redemption) or CPS (cost per sale) and the like. But there is no ledger entry for NCL (number of customers lost.) Management never sees the impact of shabby customer treatment.

So trim a little here, scrimp a little there, lower the value a skosh, raise postage & handling a mite, and master the magic spreadsheet. Looks good. You can run the same promotion as last year and save money! Meanwhile, your dearly cultivated brand image is being plowed into compost.

But it gets worse.

Imagine a tightly scrimped, highly demoted promotion when something goes wrong. Actually, you don’t have to imagine. Just check out the recent Kellogg’s Crispix on-pack offer. It features a “Free 5 Minutes” AT&T prepaid phonecard printed on the front of the box. Consumers could activate the card with a toll-free call. On a $5 box of cereal, this is a perceived value offer of, what, 75 cents? Not bad. Not great either. But add demotion to the equation and it’s another story.

Imagine a conversation in Battle Creek going something like this:

“Let’s print confusing instructions in six-point Helvetica on the back of our gray cereal-box cardboard. They won’t be able to read it with a miner’s light and a loupe!”

“But won’t that lower redemptions?”

“You’re starting to get the picture. Now, how about we partner the deal with AT&T? Bet if we let them pitch our consumers they’ll give us the promotion for next to nothing.”

“But shouldn’t we consider whether this fits with our brand personality?”

“Fugeddaboudit! Look at the spreadsheet!”

“Okay, but say the offer touches a nerve and redemptions hit the sky. Will AT&T be able to handle all the calls?”

“Of course AT&T can handle the calls. They’re the phone company, aren’t they?”

That last assumption, dear readers, was the critical blunder. Here’s what happened on 10 calls made by the “Truth Sleuths” during a three-week period. The first five calls met with a complex prompt process, ending with the abrupt recording: “Lines are busy, please call again.” How about a “Thanks for buying Kellogg’s?” Nah. The next two calls were answered by an operator who asked us if we wanted to switch to AT&T, then reported that his computer wasn’t working, could we please call again. Then, get this, two more calls heard a revised recording advising consumers they had to get their card activated by mail! Kellogg must have discovered the problem. Their solution was to renege on the deal, to require consumers to mail a UPC and a self-addressed stamped envelope – in other words, spend 64 cents plus time and materials to claim a 75 cents offer!

Kellogg must have taken flak, because the last call finally succeeded. Another live operator assaulted us with the AT&T ” switch pitch” aggravated by the “tell us about yourself” survey. We waited patiently for “my computer to work.” After more than five minutes on line we got our activation number.

Bloody truth is, bad things do happen. But most can be avoided. Digital fulfillment systems can easily be pilot-tested and debugged. Even when bad things still happen they can be salvaged and turned into good will opportunities. Kellogg could have simply intercepted phone calls, apologized for technical difficulties, and offered to reimburse consumers for postage and/or a $1 coupon for their trouble. They could have made friends instead of fueling frustration. In other words, pro-motion, not de-motion.

Stories like this one begin with e-mail from industry insiders. Got an observation, insight, or pet peeve? Seen a promotion worthy of kudos? We’ll quote you or preserve your anonymity. Your choice.