MAYBE IT’S THE FAULT of e-mail, which has condensed communication into a tight ball. The niceties of conversation have been squeezed out.
That isn’t necessarily bad. Effective force-communication tends to be in direct ratio to getting to the point.
But e-mail and telemarketing are two different sales procedures. Society hasn’t yet devolved into total chaos, and manners still have some position when we analyze or respond to a pitch originating with a human voice.
So when the phone rings, and a voice of questionable humanity demands harshly, “Lewis, please,” recognition of two factors is swift:
– The caller doesn’t know me.
– The word “please” has no significance to either party.
Telephone Tyranny Some telemarketing companies still provide their unwitting pitchpeople with antediluvian scripts that begin, “How are you today?” As pitiable as this approach has become, it’s preferable to the latest anti-rapport approach in which the caller seems to have been instructed to assume a position of dominance: “Achtung! Der fuhrer calling.”
Assuming dominance is easy. All one does is emphasize “I” instead of “You.” Nothing to it. Thump your chest and you’re dominant…assuming the person you’re calling lets you get away with it.
Sure. Just limit your calls to wimps. List companies probably have them categorized, and you can cross-match them with Mylanta-swallowers.
Well, yes, the “Bowl ’em over” approach probably does work on some people. But aside from generating post-call Buyer’s Remorse, isn’t this another crack in what once was smooth telemarketing veneer?
Losing Proposition My business phone rings. My wife answers it. The caller’s voice is rough and demanding: “I have to talk to Herschell Gordon Lewis.”
Our end: “May I ask who is calling?”
His end: “Huh?”
Our end: “May I ask who is calling?”
His end: “Marsden.”
Our end: “With what company?”
His end: “What difference does that make?”
Oh, it makes a difference. The call didn’t go through.
Now, suppose (and it’s possible) the call wasn’t from a telemarketer. Instead, it was from a potential client, eager to shower me with money for writing copy or criticizing his creative work. Who is the loser?
Don’t tell me I’m the loser by avoiding a possible business relationship with a bully. Everybody in our business knows the pitfalls attending a no-respect beginning. No matter how well, how professionally, how effectively a job is completed, the bully has to justify his position by finding fault.
Perfect timing! The phone just rang.
Our end: “Lewis Enterprises.”
His end: “Do y’all take credit cards for payment?”
Our end: “For what?”
His end: “I’m calling Lewis Enterprises. I’m doing a survey. Do you accept credit cards?”
Notice, please: If this guy actually was doing a survey, he and whoever scripted him both need help. Why couldn’t he have said, “Good morning. My name is Joe Glutz. My company, International Research, has been hired to do a survey of businesses. Can you tell me: Do you accept credit cards for payment?”
Demanding Dialers In another episode this very day, our third business line rang. The first two lines weren’t in use. Now, that in itself is a giveaway: Somebody is dialing numbers automatically, unaware and unconcerned. So it’s the middle of the business day. So what? So the call is instantly recognizable as an unsolicited pitch, even before the first word comes tumbling out. So what? They deal in bulk selection, in both their employees and their targets.
The call: “Who is in charge of health insurance?”
Any number of wry answers come to mind: “The president of the United States, but he seems to have run into a roadblock”; “Oh, that person is in the hospital”; “Health insurance? What’s that?”; “Who the hell wants to know?”
That last one is visceral, not usually spoken. But what causes the viscera to be in an uproar? The substitution of demand for request. That’s the infernal development we seem to be witnessing.
If today’s society offered a kinder, gentler business ambience, one would expect telemarketing scripts to be subject to a final pass/no-pass inspection by somebody – anybody – who has a nodding acquaintanceship with primitive sales psychology. You’d think they’d know a telephone pitch is dead in the water unless it makes at least a feeble attempt to establish rapport. But rapport has given way to its sworn enemy, arrogance. Who advises these people, anyway?
Feel Guilty? Not Anymore If you’re old enough, you remember when we used to feel guilty turning down an unsolicited (but politely offered) proposition on the phone. These days, when we hang up on an unsolicited call or a semi-literate voice or the computerized demand, “Please stay on the line for an important message,” we feel a flash of satisfaction: That’ll show ’em who’s in charge here.
The relationships have changed, and not for the better. Proof is that we’re willing to risk alienating a caller who actually wants to do business with us if it means alienating a caller who doesn’t care about our sensibilities. As Jimmy Durante used to say, “What a revoltin’ development!”
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