As readers of these diatribes know so well, I haven’t been a fan of Cadillac’s advertising.
Certainly the introduction of the Catera – the car whose name sounds like a sneeze – was remarkable for its lunacy: “The Caddy that zigs.” Saner heads seem to have prevailed lately, but it may be too late. Automotive publications say Cadillac is undergoing massive marketing restructuring.
While they’re at it, can somebody get them to rename the Escalade? That would be nice. An owner says to a neighbor, “I have an Escalade.” The neighbor replies, “Better get it lanced.”
But obviously, other companies are suffering from the Caddy-zig infection. A Ford ad has this slogan: “Breakout.” We expect to see Nicolas Cage in a bullet-riddled Focus. (Can somebody get them to rename that car, too?)
Toyota has a car whose name could be tied to Viagra: Prius. The advertising is parallel: “…powered by a battery that never needs to be recharged and an intelligence system that knows when to use which.” On Toyota’s behalf, they’ve finally changed their claim of “Everyday” to “Every day.” Good dog!
Oldsmobile has announced proudly its dependence on a massively advertised slogan. Budget is $236 million. Ads are based around “Start something.” Alero is “Start connecting.” Aurora is “Start obsessing.” Now, come on. I know they’re obsessive-compulsive, but does this campaign represent $236 million worth of connection with car buyers?
Mazda recently had a shakeup in its marketing department. Anyone (other than whoever charged a ton for special effects) who saw the flashing, dashing, impenetrable “Mazda World” commercials wasn’t surprised. Mazda’s vice president of marketing was quoted as saying the company would be “communicating what the brand is.” Gee, what a breakthrough idea!
Those of us who are long enough in the tooth remember slogans that succeeded because they related to the product: “What’ll you have? Pabst Blue Ribbon”…”How are you fixed for blades?”…and for that matter, “There’s a Ford in your future”…and in more recent times, “Butter. Parkay.”
The marketing professionals who created those slogans seem to have been replaced by word-bandiers who trademark or service-mark slogans with a happy abandon one would expect from a bunch of kids playing in the advertising sandbox. The puzzling aspect isn’t that somebody spends a few million promoting a dot-com company’s “We’ll go to bat for you” slogan; it’s that management – assuming that company has any – says, “OK. Good. Run it.”
A plethora of companies in computer-related industries take no chances at all. Their slogans or mottoes or whatever you might call a nondescript line of type are inarguable. For example, AMD, the processor company, has this one: “It’s just you, us and the world.” Well, they got that right. Ricoh says, “We’re in your corner.” That’s also where the wastebasket is. Tyan Computer Corp. says, “Let Tyan Be YOUR Answer.” Fine, Tyan, if you’ll tell us what the question is. Samsung has a curious one – with the ubiquitous [TM] symbol, naturally: “Everyone’s invited.[TM]”
Sony wants us to ponder its words: “Sony. Our media is your memory.[TM]” Oh. Sure. Who can argue with that?
General Mills’ newly coiffed, racially neutral and sensually neutered Betty Crocker has trademarked this one: “What a great idea.”
Brummel and Brown Spread seems to be proud of “Creamy Taste That Swings!”
We’re bombarded by goofy slogans that don’t relate to anything specific. What a glorious waste!
Is a disclaimer in order – that these are aberrations, not typical of aggressive and dynamic 21st century marketing? I dunno. There are simply too blasted many of them to relegate them to the aberration pile. If the trademark office wouldn’t be so generous in awarding that symbol, maybe we could stanch the flow. Advertisers with impenetrable slogans such as TWA’s “One mission. Yours.[TM]” would go nuts.
Should TWA follow the lead of Lufthansa, which has a no-nonsense catch line, “The global airline from Germany”? The statement is clear, and no one can object to it. That’s what Lufthansa is.
Listen, I’m not militating for dumbed-down slogans. Lufthansa isn’t going to gain any interest, let alone creative awards, for “The global airline from Germany.” But consider: Would you rather have Delta’s “We love to fly, and it shows”? The genuine marketer rejects both Lufthansa and Delta and asks, “What will enhance image and cause the phone to ring or the Web site to come alive?” (Yeah, I know Delta has switched slogans, but nobody around here can think of what it is…which speaks volumes.)
So you won’t think every comment is a gripe, here are some slogans that in my opinion add some value to the name:
For the Broadmoor Hotel in Colorado Springs: “European Grandeur In The Colorado Rockies.” (I like it even though there’s no excuse for the upper/lowercase “In The.” It’s infinitely superior to Hilton’s “It happens at the Hilton,” which makes me itchy.)
DuPont is within the acceptable target area with “The miracles of science.” Buick is surprisingly sane with “A luxury car for everyone.” Viagra is right in there, sans Toyota, with the double-entendre “Love life again.” The cholesterol medication Lipitor has the clear, no-nonsense “The Lower Numbers You’re Looking For” (damaged, as so many are, by the upper/lowercase addiction). Charles Schwab has the serviceable “creating a world of smarter investors[TM],” total lowercase losing impact as it helps equalize the overuse of capital letters.
But because intellect has a habit of skipping generations, it may be another generation before a marketer equals Maxwell House’s “Good to the last drop.”
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